Rearranging the Table

Actually, what spiritual experiences aren't mystical? I think by their nature encounters with the divine are mystical, otherwise something is missing. Religion is just a neat little package or product to keep the people happy; it's a skimmed version of the whole truth. Divided up, some truths here, some truths there, but all stemming from the same place. Those miracles and touched-by-the-holy-spirit orgies? Mystical. Those dreams and those visions? Mystical. All mystical, but with distortions and interpretations and corruptions. We're more lost now than we ever were, intentionally so, strung out, strung along. Tribes and entheogens, closer to what is.

When you look for meaning, what do you find? All is mystical, that which reaches out. Nihilism is looking in the wrong places, looking around and seeing the material realm and nothing beyond that, nothing in the folds between. I felt the nihilism myself at times through adolescence. When concerned only with the physicality of the world, it's easy to get carried away with the misery. Nature provides the mystical, you just have to be clean enough to receive the indications. I know this much - last time I had clear and personally profound experiences was last summer, quite a multitude, but gradually I've been absorbed into a reality of addictions and stealing so I can keep my habits going, a host of other things as well, a host to other things... It comes back to cause and effect again, how negativity breeds negativity and vice versa. I've had very little contact with anybody, physically or metaphysically. I've not had many dreams, certainly no vivid dreams that jolt me awake and stay imprinted in my mind for longer. Symbolism elsewhere or in the waking state, not that I can recall. So you have to live well if you expect to be treated well. It's also good to make sacrifices (non-human/animal), such as removing many of the materials that wall you in. The more distractions you take out of your life, it's like removing bricks from a wall, the clearer you begin to see and view the world for what it really is. You'll have a mental clarity, newfound appreciation.

Essentially we're all seeking the same understanding, but some of us just choose to avoid any form of organised religion along the way. It's empowering not relying on an institution to guide you in prayer, worship or meditation. And I feel there's nothing typically wrong with the mystical or mysticism, it's how one uses or abuses the knowledge as ever. Christians are clutching at straws in these end days, that's all it is. They're trying to maintain authority where there really is none, it's not their place to do so and it never was. The real authority has other plans now. Different control systems for different times, nothing more - just as New Age has its purpose, just as the satanic undertones of popular culture will guide and steer society now. It best achieves the aims of the bloodthirsty meathead mafia at the top, it's a perfect vehicle for them, it's the getaway. The nice little indiscreet. But it's not over yet. Wanna know what I think? I think everyone needs to loosen up, take a psychedelic mushroom and have an inherently good fuck, sí?

I jest.


Kind of.

Can of Worms

The last thing I should probably do is express doubt on here, as that's often viewed as a weakness and it's really important to maintain vision or focus when working with a medium like this. But I'm going to accept it as part of the natural course of soul-searching, rather than deny the emotion - I guess you have to expect to draw a blank from time to time.

These are some thoughts I'm dealing with recently, which are magnified tonight, and by divulging them perhaps it will make them dissipate or help me to process them.

I'm experiencing a crisis of faith, though I know it is temporary. It's a catalyst for resolution; about picking apart beliefs before reconstruction with the intention of strengthening them. Frequently I ask myself if I'm delusional, I stop for a moment to consider what I'm doing, but this never persists for more than a minute; I quickly remember that there is too much evidence to the contrary which proves the reality of such atrocities. All one has to do is look. These minor periods of doubt are a necessary measure to demonstrate to the self that a level of rationality is preserved, likely a defence mechanism, not to be disregarded.

Religion causes internal and external conflict. Religion is not something I follow, yet still it's at odds with my beliefs. This may have its merits, as it serves to deprecate or condemn practices which may not be so trustworthy. Religion was started innocently enough, a yearning within us all?

I realise I've opened a can of worms with this pursuit of mine. Sometimes I experience moments where I'm unable to see a practical way out of this, extensive as it is, a series of images, a collage of screaming mouths beneath a strobe light.

I watched some archive footage online (Robert Monroe's Out of Body Experiences), he seems honest and admits that he started the experiments for selfish reasons, wanting to better understand his condition, but a lot of what he says seems confused, he falters often, he desperately wants to provide the answers. This is a man who was really no better for his research by the end, that's the feeling I had. Journeys Out of the Body is still a profound book upon first read-through, I can't dismiss that, whereas the footage is from 1992, which would make Bob Monroe about 76, and what he had to say didn't sit well with me. Maybe it's my fault, jumping from his early experiences to his later and trying to comprehend a man who has been through what he has - I imagine as Far Journeys and Ultimate Journey go, they'll touch upon what he talks about. Maybe he wasn't able to disclose particular information, maybe he's deliberately vague, perhaps it's salesmanship - to encourage people to seek out his books and products. First and foremost he was a businessman, who just happened to have these mystical experiences, which is why I was sceptical when I began his book. No matter what, it was a successful business venture. Either way, someone out there knows the potential that exists within us and decides to profit from that, because many of the experiences I can vouch for. Robert's explanations in the video are overcomplicated, didn't seem believable, but then this complexity is to be expected when looking into the unknown. He spoke of 'imaginary' friendships with entities (or energies), without coming across like a total kook, but the interactions as he describes them I found to be questionable. Were these 'astral' experiences, or did he start to confuse hallucinations for reality as time went on? Not to undermine the bloke's intelligence, it just has to be asked. Were these beings of light or beings of false light; was he led astray?

This is where Christianity affects/concerns me, the claims of all mystical experiences being deceptive outside of Jesus' teachings. Everything becomes so confused and diluted. Who would want to follow Christianity (or any religion for that matter)? Even if they were true, why should I want to suck up to that image of God? That's the extent of what I see, too often the followers are sycophantic and I can't for one moment believe that any divine being is going to be worthy of that. I could not serve something like that. I reject the ego-centric God.

There are some reliable ideas or principles throughout most religion, or a reminder of what not to do when they turn fanatical. Perhaps Christianity is right, perhaps mysticism is a trap - the apple as a lure - the search for knowledge/enlightenment - activation of the pineal gland and awakening of the kundalini...

Still, religion alienates, divides.

Through all of the societal corruption, could this still be a path to evolution? Can the corruption be forgiven, accepted as implicit in human nature? Is it a requirement to break emotion down, is that the way of the future? Nietzsche's ubermensch (superman). Sterility.

Where The Insects Run The Show

Bequeathed by Mr R Erickson
West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum

Look at this jumble of bugs. Imagine opening a drawer to find this little lot. There appears to be an assortment of butterflies, moths, beetles and dragonflies. Even though they're dead and encased behind glass, they'd likely make your skin crawl if you weren't a fan of insects. With their rich colours, this array could effectively blend with a littering of Autumn leaves on the ground. The patterns and eyespots, what are they saying? What do they say to you?

There's not enough recognition for the incredible and enlightening societies of the insect world, I think it's a great shame. Individually we can learn a lot by observing, studying or researching them. There are over one million different species of insects - compared to just the one human species.

The image is from the inlay of Kasabian's third album West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum, an album I'm really fond of for its concept, style, art, lyrical content, overall comprehensive sound and the mystical nature of certain tracks especially. It's like all the great 'psych' films rolled into one and put to music, turned into a soundtrack. If the walls of an old asylum would speak, these recordings are what we'd hear. The album is residual energy. It's like a collage of male and female eyes all fluttering in their own times and bathed in sunshine, moonlight, shadows and smeared mascara... a cluster of headaches, desperate voices and sensual whispers curling in the air... all of these racing thoughts and feelings, flights of fancy... passionate, romantic, misunderstood, forsaken, nostalgic, poignant, idealistic, restless, delirious, neurotic, esoteric, blissful, grandiose, indestructible... sexual tension, fevers, cold lightning, warm rain... English rose bleeding against a white picket fence... golden meadows, high kites, dandelion wishes... summer days where dreams run into reality in the disorienting heat... long summer nights with no definite end in sight...

This is how I'd begin to describe what the music does for me. As a work of art it has been deeply affecting. For me there's no doubt in my mind that this is a summer record. The photo of the dead insects has a vibe about it as if autumn is drawing in, but they've been in the glass case for years and years, the change of season is always coming, never settling. The insects are preserved, that is, in permanent stasis. I think it's suitable, fitting for the concept, and it's the centre of the inlay. I've not found any posts on the internet giving appreciation on this, only a piece of information about the plaque below the insects (which is supposedly a reference to Roky Erickson of the 13th Floor Elevators). Although I see it as art - and that is its purpose in the booklet - I guess it's a collection from a museum. It's incredible, so I just wanted to share it. Isn't that part of the beauty of physical copies of albums? The artwork, the layout, the background. Brings another perspective, the visual aspect to further bring alive the themes present within the songs...